Graydancer, Rope Artist Extraordinaire

I had the following comment on my ropecast blog, in reference to this picture:

It looks like you are doing a Demo here so it is perhaps forgivable, but if my sub ever put it’s hands on my Rope to pull itself up to ease it’s suffering like your white knuckled model is doing here…I would feel it my duty to make it very, very sorry for doing so. It would learn, it would remember, and it would NOT repeat this error.

Now, there are a lot of ways to respond to this - I confess, my visceral reaction is an indignant and self-righteous “Who the fuck are YOU to tell me how to run a scene?” But let’s be gracious and polite and use scalpels to dissect this beast, not harpoons and clubs.

How would you respond to that? Does he have a point? Is there an “accepted” way to run a rope suspension/scene? Come aboard the R.P.P. Ropecast group in Fetlife and let me know your thoughts…

I wanted to make sure that it was ok with her, but Nyxx has agreed to let me post this last picture from the Tree Shoot Gallery (at the last Spankfest). Most of the other pictures were distance shots, showing the whole tableau (and they really put the “Oh!” in tableau) but this particular one showcases four things:

• Nyxx is fucking gorgeous.*
• Mistress Mayhem is fucking talented.**
• Lqqkout is a great rigger.***
• Spankfestival is the kind of a place where you can combine those first two things with incredible outdoor scenery and come up with shots…well, like this.

Thanks to both of you for sharing them with us all…

 *She’s also fucking talented, but that’s not the point here.

**She’s also fucking gorgeous, but that’s not the point here.

***He’s also gorgeous and talented and a lucky bastard, but that’s…eh, you get the point.

Congrats go to Lochai, my brother-in-arms, for his acquisition of the dream job: lead rigger & director at Hogtied.com. I would be jealous of him if I didn’t like him so damn much; as it is, I’m just really looking forward to seeing more of his work. Plus, maybe now I’ll finally get my interview with Peter Acworth for the Ropecast…

The thing about Lochai is, he’s a natural-born perverted sadist. He doesn’t have to work at it - it just comes naturally to him, and that’s why he can seem like such a genuinely nice guy even as he’s causing beautiful people incredible pain. He is a genuinely nice guy…who also happens to get off on doing things like this. In the end, though, he ends up with this expression…and that’s why I admire him so.

A while back I was sitting at my desk job, bored, and decided to read an article on this cool technique for running meetings called “Open Space Technology.” It was based on the knowledge that, at any conference, convention, or structured meeting, the most productive stuff happens in the spontaneous gatherings outside the planned events. The group that huddles in the hall, that goes out for coffee, that sparks a conversation in between the structured speakers.

The “Unconference,” as it was proposed by the business & tech geeks who founded it, was an attempt to have nothing but those kinds of moments. To come up with a structure that would be self-organizing, self-running, and see what came of it.

“Huh,” I remember thinking. “Wonder if that would work for a kink event?” And like any good top, I decided to experiment on my friends. I chose the catchy title of “Graydancer’s Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza,” (aka the GRUE) and, well, the rest was history.

Since then we’ve had GRUE’s in Madison, WI, Lansing, MI, Minneapolis, MN and St. Louis, MO. If you plot it on a map it looks kind of like one of those CDC contagious disease forecasters…and we’re about to make it international.

TORO! TORO! TORO-GRUE! 

Thanks to my friend the Control Enthusiast, we have a venue, we have time, and we have interest, so we’re throwing a GRUE over the border. You can read about the details here, and we’ll be sure to keep you posted. If you’ve been a participant in a past GRUE - and there are hundreds of you out there, at this point - I’d love to hear what you think of the idea now, long after it’s done. And if you’re interested in knowing more…well, let’s talk. I hear Toronto is very nice in October…

No, I didn’t do the review…dammit, haven’t gotten on Claire or Nina’s mailing lists. Yet. But there’s a great review of the DVD over at Fleshbot, including a snippet of video. It’s pretty evident that you can learn as much from watching the way Claire handles the rope as from what she says - just watching the way she started that wrap improved my own style. This looks like a very worthwhile addition to your bondage library, not the least of which you get to learn while seeing Claire and Nina in quite delightfully naughty outfits.

Kind of ups the ante for Lqqkout & my presentation at the upcoming Spankfestival. I wonder how I’d look in purple leotard…

As a parent and also a sex educator, I have a soft spot for parents doing alternative things while also raising their kids. And while I’ve never met her, I’ve enjoyed and admired the work of Catalina, a sex blogger and Mom who has run smack into some really rotten prejudices and double dealing.

Here’s the link for the full story: Catalina Loves Her Daughter. What is comes down to is that it’s not enough for the school to punish her for what they consider to be distasteful behavior - they are also taking it out on her daughter, which from a Christian school seems really reprehensible in that Damn-I-Hate-Hypocrites kind of way. So keep in mind if you donate to the raffle (she’s raffling off museum prints from Lochai’s WEAM exhibit) you are not giving the money to Catalina - you are actually giving it to her daughter, and proving that a community of pervs cares more about her education than an administration full of assholes.

WWJD, indeed. My bet is he’d buy a buttload of raffle tickets, and then make sure that he won all the prints…and then multiply them, of course, so there’s enough for everyone, just like in the parable of the loaves & bitches. Right, Padre Pugno?

I’ve been told by some that I really ought to have an “appearances” page of places I’m going, since I travel so much. I’ll get to that, really. But meanwhile, here’s a gig coming up soon:

BASIC ROPE SUSPENSION TECHNIQUE

Want to fly?

We all hear how dangerous suspension is, how it shouldn’t be done without proper supervision and experience and OSHA certification and and and…and it’s all true, to an extent. But the basic principles of suspension can be taught, learned, and mastered in a relatively short time, and that’s what Graydancer offers in this workshop. From hardpoint to soft body and all the ropes and knots in between, he will cover everything you need to know to put bodies of all kinds in the air safely and comfortably. Bottoms will learn what to expect when they go in the air, how to communicate effectively with the top, and techniques to manage and maximize their experience. With Graydancer’s direct hands-on assistance this workshop will help you get the knowledge and confidence to add this experience to your kinky repertoire.

Space is limited to eight participants (that includes tops and bottoms) to ensure focused instruction for the participants. Couples are recommended, but single participants will also be welcome, either as top, bottom, or switch.

Time: Saturday, August 16, 1pm - 3pm
Place: Private Residence in Minneapolis (address provided to registrants)
Cost: $50/couple, $30/individual. Please bring cash or check to workshop
To Register, Contact Graydancer at 608-628-2105 or email

I’ve recently been honored with becoming part of the staff of the Studio Chicago, a new pro dungeon run by my friends Mistress Jaded and Mistress Simone. It’s a beautiful space with some of the most amazing equipment I’ve ever seen, and it was the scene of the recent happy mindfuck with Ava Amnesia as well as a merry little needleplay scene with Vincenza. Really had hoped to get some play in with Eyeskape, as well, but he was busy serving his Mistress. That’s him in the pretty rope there on the left of the banner:

However, there are ongoing events there- it is the monthly meeting place of the NawaShibari-Chicago group, for example, a rope specialty group I’ve gotten to present for a couple of times. You can also find people like Descara and the Instant Expert hanging around, too.

This looks to be an interesting event: August 23rd, a “private” bondage party. Not yet sure if I’m going to make it…but I’m certainly willing to be persuaded…

Just spent two hours on Skype with a hot bi babe talking about rope play and hot suspension…

That’s right, Lqqkout, Nyxx, Sabrina Fox and I will be presenting a class on suspension - more of a workshop, really - at the upcoming Spankfestival. I’m really happy with the outline we came up with - it’s solid info, well-researched and tested either by us or by our mentors. Even better is the little bits of shiny we’ll get to insert, the parts of a presentation I love, when we get to not only teach but entertain.

Sneak preview: we have a section on scene etiquette for suspensions in public spaces…

…and we’re doing it Goofus & Gallant style.

This is gonna rock.

I just got done uploading the edited audio file of Audible Rope Theatre: The ART of Rita. This was a pleasurable fundraising/long term scene between Rita Seagrave and I, where we offered sponsorships to people in exchange for access to (and influence over) a rope scene between the two of us.

The scene is entertaining, hot, and was great fun and satisfying on many levels. Thanks to her friend Zuchtiger, we have over 399 images of the scene in the Sponsors-only gallery. But you can listen to the whole thing yourself, if you’d like:

The ART of Rita on the Ropecast

And here’s a few images from the scene, just to give you some context: